One Minute No Trouble Zone

I cannot recall if I heard this idea from someone else or if I came up with it myself. However, regardless of its origin, it has proven to be effective, and I hope that by sharing it, it can be beneficial to others as well.

When my children were very young, I instituted something called the "One-Minute No Trouble Zone," which I would usually do during dinner, particularly when we were out as a family. I would say:

Okay, this is something called the ''One-Minute No Trouble Zone.'' You have one minute to tell me anything you did, and I cannot get mad at you; I can only try to help.

The goal was to create a space where my children could be honest with my wife and I without fear of repercussion. The one minute that I opened up never worked..but it always worked later on.

I began this when my kids were five or six years old, and I still practice it to this day. However, it is not for what occurs during that minute but for the hours, days, and months following it.

As time has passed, I receive texts from my kids asking for a "One-Minute No Trouble Zone." I always agree and honor the initial agreement. They cannot get in trouble, and I can only offer help.

When they were younger, they confessed to minor things such as bad thoughts or frustrations. As they have grown, the "trouble" has become of greater import, and when I see the three dots in their text response indicating their response, I am on the edge of a heart attack. Thankfully, nothing they have confessed thus far has been earth-shattering, but the point remains the same. This little safe space has created a way for my kids to trust me with their concerns, stressors, secrets, and insecurities.

I may not always have the right answer, but I appreciate the opportunity to participate in the conversation.